I suppose I never really got over you, although I've tried time after time. I spent endless nights crying over you, though you went off on your own. I

12 years

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I suppose I never really got over you, although I’ve tried time after time. I spent endless nights crying over you, though you went off on your own. I wish I could honestly say I don’t think about you from time to time, or that I still don’t cry. But obviously, I’d be lying, now wouldn’t I?

You were my world, you were the reason I didn’t end my own life, you were my reason to smile. You were the light when everything was dark for me. You were my /savior/. And then you went and did that. You… You ripped us apart, because you dis-trusted me so badly that you wouldn’t even let me prove myself to be innocent. Then you blamed it on me, saying I was the one dis-trusting in the relationship, which I admit, I had my doubts, but only for one second. I should have known that you really were cheating behind my back.

You had me wrapped around your little finger. You used me to appease your needs, and used me as a shoulder to cry on. I didn’t mind, since that’s what I’ve been all my life. I did anything you asked, I snuck out of the house to see you more, never regretting getting caught for it, either. I feel every emotion towards you; hate, love, anger, resentment, envy, the whole nine yards.

I regret ever meeting you. I honestly regret ever going to the birthday party, and asking your name. I regret continuing our convo onto FB, where I slowly drew you out of depression. I regret saying yes to your proposal to be my boyfriend. I regret it all.

But more than anything else, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you, that you had to resort to other girls behind my back. I’m sorry that I was annoying to you, I’m sorry that I just was there. I’m sorry, I’ll never say it enough. /I’m sorry/.

And even after you dumped me, and even after you came crawling back for a second chance because no one would take you, I still hurt. Even with him- The one I found after you were long gone- It hurts to think of the both of you. You two were the reason I changed so violently. I’ll never be the same.

But now, I’m happier. I found the one, at least, I think for now is the one. I just hope you won’t ruin things for me.
I hope you never return.
I hope we never have to see each other again.
Because, if we do?
/I might lose it/.

New Confession

I hate that the women I want to have se.x with, you have to get to know them first and build a rapport. You can’t just say ‘Come to bed with me’ you have to talk about and do a bunch of unrelated s.hit that has nothing to do with s.ex. And even then, after all that you might not get them into bed.

Related Confessions

From “Etobicoke Life Magazine”
March 1999

“Walmart Workers Busted”

“A number of Walmart workers have been charged with theft of over $10,000….investigators used video evidence….workers removed security tags from VCRs….

Charged is J— Jasenec, age 24 and ……”

1. Etobicoke Life Magazine has been defunct since 2002, but you can research it at the Toronto Reference Library

2. This took place at the Honeydale Walmart

3. F*** YOU Sister Marie Howorth!! You had no f***** right to ask me private questions about my father’s death! The school board takes MY SIDE and even APOLOGIZED!!!

4. F*** YOU Judy W!!! F*** YOU Yvonne K!!!! Cause my mamma taught me NOT to steal! I was always an honest Bay girl! 😉

5. My father verbally abused my mother and my life was happier without him. Stop attaching everything I do to his death.

6.F*** YOU ALL in number 4 for attacking my ability on having empathy for strangers who die young or suffer. Having empathy for a stranger is not a bad thing. You think your Jesus would agree with you or me on that one?