Brains are such jerks. Yes, brains. The thing most people have in their heads that they use to think and do stuff. *Study study study study for exams*

12 years

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Brains are such jerks. Yes, brains. The thing most people have in their heads that they use to think and do stuff.

*Study study study study for exams*

EXAM TIME!

Me: Ok, brain, I had to delete the birthdays of people I love and care about, meaningful childhood memories and a few important identifying numbers to make space for all of this stuff. Let’s do this!

Brain: Uh…ok…um, I think I remember some of this. Do…do you mind sitting there and rereading the question over and over for several minutes while I think about it?
Me: Ok.

*At work*

Me: Gotta focus. I have to meet a deadline in a few hours…

Brain: Hey, you remember that time where you assumed a lady was color-blind and then you actually asked her if she was!?? Hahaha! That was hilarious! Remember her face? Don’t worry, I’ve stored an HD quality videographic sequence of it to play over and over in your head! Body did you look like A COMPLETE A** in front of all those people!!!

Me: F*** you, brain. Just f*** you.

Anyone else have this problem??

New Confession

I hate that the women I want to have se.x with, you have to get to know them first and build a rapport. You can’t just say ‘Come to bed with me’ you have to talk about and do a bunch of unrelated s.hit that has nothing to do with s.ex. And even then, after all that you might not get them into bed.

Related Confessions

I was angry disrespectful prideful selfish hypocritical I complained I had worldly sorrow resentment I was insensitive unloving unmerciful uncaring unkind uncompromising immature I overreacted I had a martyr like attitude I was ungrateful irresponsible I overreacted I used profanity l lied I was hypocritical anxious I had a martyr like attitude I was immature lazy I was argumentative defensive and threatening and I hardened my against God’s plan for my life