Three girls I used to like when I was in school, which was over 20 years ago now, have very unique names and are very easy to find online. Sometimes, when my wife and kids are asleep, and I start thinking about the twists and turns my life has taken, and where I have ended up, I like searching the internet for them. There are always new pictures of those three women. All are married now. All have children. All are still beautiful to me.

But I think, deep down, looking them up just makes me feel young again. Like I still have major life choices to make. Like I am still free. There is nothing left for me to decide. I have my spouse, all the children I will ever have, a house, and a career. The only big question mark left in my life is how I will die.