Eventually I will kill myself. Not today, tomorrow, or any day in the near future. It’ll likely be when I’m too old or infirm to work. I’m trying to save for a potential retirement, but it’s hard at my salary and while I’m trying to go to school for a better job, it’s not a guarantee. If I can’t work and I can’t afford to retire or God forbid I end up homeless in my old age, I’ll just end it all myself. You can still have your family members collect on life insurance if your suicide is a certain amount of time after you signed up. I think it’s about 5-10 years. I’d rather go out on my own terms and possibly leave some of my family members a good amount of money than to make my nephews and nieces care for me. I know it will hurt them, but they’ll have it rough as well throughout life and I want to make sure that I am not a financial burden. I’ll work as hard as I can to prevent this, but I like knowing that I will have that small bit of power if I’m unable to make good of my life.