I still think there’s hope…but you have closed the door on me. It’s hard to not think about you…I always get caught up with my emotions…my thoughts of a life with you…with other people. I’ve failed on so many things…on so many people…I thought you could be one right. When I said you were an Angel I really mean it…I want to be with you even though we would probably lose our minds together. I can hear the screams now…the past calling back to me…telling me lies and deceitful promises. I just want to feel safe…from my darkest self. Some say they have a demon, a murderer hidden deep inside them…mine is of that of a r*****. I have NEVER…touched a single person…but I am deeply afraid I might harm someone because I want…so much…to feel the warmth of a beautiful woman’s body around me…I want to feel like there’s a place I can call home. The pain…this endless void can’t be covered with ideas…and I know that sitting alone watching the people walk by as I sing of dreams and desires…staring at the sky like some optimistic fool…I just want you to sit next to me and not be afraid. I know you are worried that I might kill myself one day…well to be honest…if something doesn’t come to kill me…I will. I’m going to kill myself one day…and I can see why you don’t want to be around for that…but it wont be because of you or anyone…there will just come a day when I want to stop playing this game. I know…we will never…speak again…and that is tragic to know. I just wished there was something I could have done that would have let us still be able to talk to each other…but the fear…keeps us away.