I’m 21 and I drink and do a lot of drugs. I smoke meth almost daily, I do heroin, when I can’t get heroin I use suboxone, I take xanax everyday. I’m a server in a restaurant, I pull around $400 a night in tips, sometimes as much as $2000 though. I use cocaine when I’m at work, it lets me perform like I’m not a drug addict. I hate myself and the people around me, I hate meth, I hate heroin, I hate everything.. but I play a character who loves himself and everyone around him . I manipulate my way through everything and nobody has a clue about the drugs , but I can feel myself cracking under all this . I have thought extremely in depth of ways to kill myself. I don’t want to hate anymore.