I can’t tell if I have high self esteem or dangerously low. I’m ugly, fat, shy and reserved, and odd/weird in a definitely-not-charming way. But I look in the mirror and like who I see; I like who I am. It’s like I feel frustrated, tired, and sad that others don’t see in me what I see in myself. I used to think that I just didn’t care what others thought of me, but now I think I just couldn’t handle the truth about how other people see me. Everyday and everything I do is so ridiculously embarrassing. I hate people looking at me. I always try to appear tough so people won’t talk to me but then I’m kind and smiley when spoken to. I’m an actual useless person, and I really think I was meant to amount to nothing, be depressed, and just die.