I work at Autozone, and we rip people off CONSTANTLY. We are judged by how many little packets of grease and s*** we sell when someone buys brakes or something like that. So we put the little packets in the box, and don’t tell the people we are charging them for it. Very few people notice.

We have deals worked out with the local mechanics where we print fake receipts for them that shows they paid double for a part than they actually paid. They then give the receipt to the customer, and make the customer pay that price.

Unlike most of my coworkers, I know a lot about cars – I’m ASE certified and I’ve been in the business for over ten years. I can fix anything but a transmission. But when I am at work, I play dumb. I willingly sell people the wrong parts because it’s what they asked for, even if I know it’s not what they need.

People will come in, say they need brakes for their Honda, and point to the car in the lot. It’s not a Honda. But I figure if they are that dumb, I will let them waste their time and get the wrong stuff.

And we waste so much. If there is something on the shelf in the back – where only employees can see it – and the box is damaged, we throw it away. Shocks, struts, entire radiators, etc… We spray paint it and throw it away, so the back room looks “spiffy” for the big bosses.

Some mornings, I am happy to be there and friendly with the customers. But it doesn’t take much to turn me into a mindless drone. Here’s the thing about auto parts stores: the customers are pissed before they walk in the store, because their car is broken. I used to care. I used to try and make people happy. Now I just go through the motions.

One time, I told a customer I was going to look for his part in the back, walked out the back door, went to my car, and took my lunch break. He was waiting for 20 minutes before I got a call from my boss. And I played dumb. I had no idea what the customer was talking about.