Dear world,

Some viewers reading this message might have heard of the infamous P.S.W.J. (the P*** Slaying Warriors of Justice). The last post mentioning the P.S.W.J. was not posted by our propitious leader of that particular group; it was posted by our youngest member who goes by the contumacious name of: “WeedSpark”. The P.S.W.J. have not killed around 70 pedophiles (as the previous post mentioned), we have killed approximately 187 pedophiles; most of them have been corrupted by the Dark Nexphumite, a rare alien substance that mainly stimulate desires of pedophilia, and various other “dark” fetishes. The Dark Nexphumite is a solvent-like substance in its common form, but it can also take the form of vapor. This rare substance’s origin is unknown, but it is definitely not from our solar system. It is not on the periodic table, nor does it contain any element listed on the periodic table. This substance is extremely dangerous, and is said to be the reason of the origin of AIDS and other STDS because a meteorite which contained the substance crashed in South Africa many years ago. Thank you for reading this message.

Yours sincerely,
1st Lieutenant Ford of the P.S.W.J. Alliance