God, I feel so much pain from these thoughts that are plaguing my head. My grandmother is sick and dying and the pain that is inside is so overwhelming, I’ve never felt something like this before. And all I can imagine is having to watch my mother go through the lose of her mother and knowing that some day my daughter will be watching me go through the same thing and eventually she will be going through it herself as I lay sick and beyond help. It’s a scary feeling, being completely helpless and so afraid of the rest of your life, knowing that one day this will all be happening to you no matter how far in the future that day is. It’s so frightening.I’m lossing my mind, I can’t breath.