I want to slip away into sleep one night and not come back. I am so tired all the time, and nervous and anxious in between. I don’t want to kill myself. I don’t want to engineer an act of violence against my body. But I want everything to stop. I want to lay down one night after one of my harder days, and I want it to be done. The calmest I feel is right before I slip into sleep and during the soft, languorous moments right when I wake up, before I have to move. Sleep is safe. Sleep is blank.