I have had the money to file for divorce and didn’t do it. My x and I have 2 young boys that adore him and it makes me sick. He is a drunk who has made us lose several homes and has been abusive at times. I fell in love with the sober man he was before the trouble came. I stuck by him while he did jail time several times. The longest being a full year. After losing our last home I had to move in with my mother. I stayed at her place for 4 months as I looked for a job in places up to an hour away. Then my x found a possible place and came down from his parents place. He asked to stay 1 night. I made him ask my mom out of respect for her. She allowed it then kicked me and my boys out the next morning via text! My x and I were not together but after that I took him back in a moment of shock and weakness. My sister took us all in under the conditions of no drinking and he had to get a job. He did get a job. 6 weeks later he said I promised him a fight while we were at a thing at our sons school. I just said we could talk about it later in a neutral voice. He wouldn’t let it go. So we left and we fought. I kicked him out as this was the last straw. I told him to stay the night and find a place the next day or so. He left and got drunk, rolled the car and wanted me to pick him up in the middle of the night. I told him to walk to work. He did and lost his job because he was so drunk. They called me to pick him up and I said no and he can’t come here. He was still dropped off here so the cops were called. A week later he moved in with another woman.
It’s been 10 weeks now. Each week I let him have a couple hour visit with the boys. Yesterday was visiting day. It was the first time we had s** with no strings attached. Too bad my heart was still in it. I almost cried. I don’t know what to do. I only want him sober and with out trouble but our relationship was very damaged over the years.
