There isn’t a day that I don’t think of committing suicide. As I;m sure everyone does. its normal. its human. Shouldering pain is human. being the one that everyone looks at in disgust. Being the person that needs to shoulder and do everything and shrug it off because that’s who you’re supposed to be. Being good, empathetic and understanding. I want to throw all of that away. If I was wicked I wouldn’t have burdens. I wouldn’t be waiting for rain that I know never falls. I wouldn’t be waiting for some small little ‘happy ending’ just to be dragged down by who I am. A abomination. A loser, no matter what I do to prove myself. No matter how hard I try to do good. Its always stripped away from me. everything is always taken away. Because at the end of the day, who’s going to be empathetic towards a monster? a grotesque figure that is beyond help, because there’s no way to bend and mold them into a certain shape that must be identified as wondrous and meaningful. Someone that captivates hearts. No, I’m a rough and tough bruiser, meant to be able to take day to day wear. To muscle my way through anything and everything. Why? because that what everyone identifies me as. that’s who I’m supposed to be. and because I am a rough and tough bruiser, I can’t have the same bearings as those pomp and fickle ones of my kind. a rough and tough bottom feeder. bound my feet and throw me overboard. The world’s a better place without someone like me. With no place. just send me to where I belong. Take all of it away. those feelings of unrequited love, those empathetic feelings, those caring pauses for others. take it all away and replace it with something more sinister. Replace it with hate that feeds into anger infinitely. Besides, you can’t be angry without a reason, but with hate, you can be angry for more than time. I’m a cursed spirit anyways. I wouldn’t mind sharing that pain. For others to understand. to be a real “rough and tough bruiser”. Sure, I’ll show you what its all about. besides, that is after all who I am. Right?