I look at my reflection and I look war torn. Funny how I keep inching toward the brink of self-destruction, when I want to sprint a thousand miles an hour in the opposite direction. Everything is gone. Dust in the wind. Everything I have ever done amounted to nothing. Several thousand dollars at most. Big f****** deal. I have never felt so alone in my entire life. Like an alien on a desolate planet. Loved ones talk to me, yet I feel nothing. I am nothing. I’ve hammered on my bones until they felt nothing, and now I want nothing but more hammering. I think if my flesh were burning I might just sit here. I am old before my time. I am tired before my time. I lost love before my time or maybe it lost me. I care for noone. Noone cares for me. My sins cannot be erased. They cannot be forgiven in my own eyes. I fucked it all up. A life wasted. I could not handle the pressure. The incessant b*******. They pile it on until you suffocate. Who signs up for this life? All I want to do is work my way out of it, but it is far too deep to come out happy.