When I was seven, and my female cousin (I am female as well) was nine, she started to make me play s** games with her. She would make me play a game she called “Farrah and Lee” (that tells you when this was. She would kiss me, fondle me, and make me do the same. This cousin was raised with me and I had to spend every day of the summer with her. I was scared to death to say anything because she was a bully and could make me miserable. She was the oldest, and the favorite. I became more withdrawn, gained a lot of weight and never said a word to anyone. Although there was no penetration or really any touching of the g*******, I still feel victimized. I feel like this secret has just manifested in my head as being second choice, holding a secret, being a victim, being weak and has resulted in weight problems and low self esteem. I still have to see my cousin on holidays and she has never said anything to me about the “game”. I wonder if she thinks its a normal childhood thing? It still bothers me, but will not say anything to family. I plan to wait until my grandparents are gone then just stop seeing that part of the family since we aren’t close, anyway.