I just want to sleep all the time. I feel no passion for anything anymore. All my goals and dreams seem like far off ideas. Where did the fire go? A part of me still feels a flicker, and won’t let me completely let my hopes and dreams go. It gives me this miserable little sense of urgency, but it’s not enough to make me get up and try. Is it because I expect failure? Or just because I don’t enjoy anything anymore? I don’t feel sad or depressed… just sort of emotionless and tired. No motivation or desire to succeed. Just a little nagging in the back of my brain that won’t let me give in to total lethargy.

My grandfather told me once, when I was little, that I needed to do more in life than just ‘exist’. He told me to grow up and do something with my life, more than just existing. I realize that’s what I’m doing now. I’m just existing. I’m not making an impact on anyone, I’m not even really making myself happy. Just doing what I have to do from day to day, and taking nothing from it.

I don’t know. I wish I could get back the passion I felt for my goals a few years ago. I’m not even 30 yet but I feel like I’ve given up on ever doing more than existing.