Ok this is how it started: I started playing minecraft around a year ago or so, there was a guy, Fpking (nt his real name) advertising his server on a server i was on. So i went on awhile later i went back on and he asked if i had a skype. I recently made another Skype account for minecraft. That is another regret i have, why did i make that account? Why did i go on that server? Well anyways he added me and i added him. I have no clue why i did though. He asked me out, i didnt really know him, but i said yes for some weird reason. Why did i say yes? He started adding me to skype calls with people. One time he added me with a guy named Josh. Josh turned out to be really nice and funny. He did a lot of funny prank calls on Skype! He is also one of my contacts. We started to do <3. I started to like him a lot. I told him what i like do, he told me what he liked to do. Then, i met Xtactic (not his real name) and we started talking a lot too. Josh and Xtactic and Fpking are friends too. Josh used to get on a lot, but now he isnt on a lot. Xtactic told me he likes me. I like him AND Josh. I broke up with Fpking. He tried to get me back and i was like i moved on and you should too. My parents didnt know a thing about this. But… when my dad came to get me for dinner, i was in a skype call, and he heard them, then i had to tell him about Josh, Xtactic and later on he found out about Fpking. He doesnt know that i have 26 contacts on that minecraft skype account (24 minecraft people, one my personal and other my friend). My friends also found about them… I had to explain everything… I wanted this to be my little secret but it got out. Josh isnt on alot, and i want to hear his voice. I really like Josh and Xtactic. My password on my phone is Josh. I listened to a song Don't Forget by Demi Lovato and it reminded about Me and Josh. Because he likes me and i like him, and i cried. As i am writing this i am tearing up. I tried to move on, but i can not. I am happy when i skype with both of them. I love it. On Instagram there was a post and it said "The best person in your life is the person you think about after you read this" guess who i thought of? Yes, Josh. I think of Josh every minute of the day, every hour, every day. I can not forget about him or Xtactic. Before Xtactic told me he liked me, both Josh and Xtactic thought i liked him. They even said to each other on skype, see she likes you more than me, then he would say nope. Then Josh told me about this… I also have this giggle that they find funny and cute. Also Xtactic said my laugh is really cute. I cant delete them as a contact on skype, i just cant. I have no clue what to do about this, i cant stand not talking to either one of them. I get excited when Josh or Xtactic comes online. While, during some calls with Josh and Xtactic my parents call me down and talk about me talking to them. They say be careful, dont tell them anything personal. They know my name, sorta where i live, and what i look like. They call me Liz or Eve so if i hear that i will automatically respond now. I have no clue how i am going to get over them. I want to go where they live to meet them someday really badly. I know what they look like and how old they are. They are around my age. I know my parents are looking out for me, but they dont understand, i am so happy when i talk to them. I can not stop thinking about them or talking about them. I find things everyday that make me remind me about them. My birthday is coming up, and my wish would probs either be for a lot of money or for Josh to be on more often. I think i am definitely obsessed or addicted. I dont want to tell my friends all of this or my parents or see a therapist. We used to talk a lot and really often, and they even kicked me out of a skype call so they could talk about me! Josh said That i am so done with you. When i hear him say that i die a little inside. I want him to like me i want him to love me. Josh and Xtactic have video chat parties but i never join because i am so f****** insecure. I am always worried about my hair and i rarely show them my face. But they do know what i look like. This is the longest thing i ever f****** typed. None of my essays have been this long yet. It is like 1000 words or so. I can not stop thinking or talking about them. When i am in the call with them it is like i am so happy like i went to California or something. I have cried over Josh. Josh says i am shut off i dont tell them a lot about me, thats because i would be scared that they wouldnt like me if they knew everything. And if i told them everything, it would be very awkward.. I need help on what to do, i can not live my life like this although i want to, but i have to do something more important with my life. This is my first one, so i dont know if it is too long or something.