I’m at a point in my life where I need to get pregnant or deal with never having kids. I do want kids, I just worry about who to have them with. I could

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I’m at a point in my life where I need to get pregnant or deal with never having kids. I do want kids, I just worry about who to have them with. I could do this with my bf, we’ve been together for like over 14 years. But I know I haven’t been s******* attracted to him for a while now. He would be a decent dad, but I know I’d take the backseat. My family loves him. He makes decent money. He’s a ‘safe’ choice. And he’s all I know. Sort of… I’ll admit through here that I’ve been having an affair with a married man. For, gosh a few years now. We’ve grown feelings for each other but have kept it to just f****** vs completely uprooting our lives. We have a lot of commitments and things tieing us down outside of our partners. I know cheating like this is selfish. Part of me wants to continue, another part thinks it may be time to just settle and get pregnant by the safe choice. I’ve tried ending things with my bf but he would not leave our house. My house, I pay the rent, the electric and water bills. And I tried to tell him to leave on numerous occasions but it’s just not that easy after growing together for so long. Idk. I’m feeling so stuck. I’m not married. We’ve just been floating around all this time. We don’t even have an anniversary of getting together. He plays games all day and I have to beg him to clean or help me with chores around the house to which he gives a big exhausted sigh and then asks what I want him to do. I’m not his mother and I’ve said I wish you would just think for yourself. Do it without me asking. We’d have the same discussion over and over and I’d be left feeling like the jerk. Now I don’t even ask. I just do it alone and sleep when I can. He’ll try to f*** and I’ll be exhausted. Then he cries saying he’s not getting enough attention so I have to let him hit. I’m at a point where I think I’m just supposed to bury my exhaustion and do whatever he wants of me. Leave the affair and just start making kids. I just worry I’ll be even more miserable. But my time for kids is running out and he’s not going anywhere. I’m so confused. I don’t know anyone. I feel I just need to plaster a smile on my face and continue.

New Confession

8. My duties. The man continues to talk. Because we’re on the same team this I’d the whole agenda. While moping around I’m sure you ran into the mini assembly classroom. That room is to help out the kids with one hour with their homework’s. They’re now considered for me to entertain and train. I give them trinkets to keep them happy aconfortable plus they’re aware of my likes and dislikes by now. You’ll be their guide, their mascot and puppet as you’ll soon get to understand. Next The Slab Cross posted stand.

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I’ve been an e***** for four years. I can’t look at a man without feeling such visceral disgust. I really hate this but the money is so good. I have my own house and car and I’ve put myself through school with no loans and am in pharmacy school now, still no loans. I’m just so tired.