I haven’t been happy for a while. Ever since I was a kid, it’s like there’s this hole inside me. This void. All my happiness just drips away. It’s only gotten bigger as I’ve grown older. I’m in my f****** twenties and I’ve never felt more hollow. Every good part of me, everything I could ever love about myself, is gone. It’s dripped away. Now, I’m nothing. I tried to kill myself the day after my birthday. I don’t even know why I’m even doing this. Any of it. I don’t know what I want from life. I don’t know where I want to go or what I want to do. I look around me and it’s like everyone has this clear path ahead of them and a future that they’ve planned for. I just want to feel okay. I’m so f****** tired, man. I’m always tired these days. I want to be loved. Desperately. But, I never let myself get close to people. I’m scared that they’ll see me the same way I see myself. And then, whatever love they might have for me would vanish. There’s someone in my life that loves me, but I keep pushing her away, despite wanting that connection so painfully. I keep telling myself that it’s for the best because I want to heal and improve myself before I date anyone. The truth is, I don’t think I’ll ever be enough. I honestly believe that I’m bad for her. And she’s gone through enough. I can’t bear to hurt her any more than she’s already been hurt. I should be asleep but, it’s so hard most nights. There’s so much I need to do. So much work. So many responsibilities. People are relying on me. I’m going to go. Goodbye.