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I know my wife is having an affair, I have known for almost a year and I have never said anything to her. I found out by looking at her text messages when she left her phone at home one day. Her phone went off and I picked it up and it was a text from her lover saying he was going to be late. She was supposed to be out shopping with a friend.
I tracked her car to a hotel and waited outside. I watched as a guy from her work pulled up and went into one of the rooms. Two hours later she came out first then drove away. I was going to confront him but I just sat there as he got into his car and drove away. I followed to find out where he lived and again I was going to confront him and make a scene in front of his wife. Again like the coward I am I lost my nerve.
Lots of times over the last year I have sat outside hotel rooms and a few times outside my own house during the day when she thought I was at work. Sometimes when that happens I come home and initiate s**. She always complies and seems to enjoy it.
I am afraid if I tell her I know and have let this go on she will lose respect for me and leave me. But last week she told me she is pregnant and that would be our first even though we have been trying for two years.

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I got mad at my boyfriend for talking to other girls in front of me, while I sat on his best friends lap. I feel like a hypocrite but at the same time I feel valid. My boyfriend asked me to do this, to play this role with his friend. My boyfriend and I are not supposed to be seen together in front of certain friends of his, and at this party I had to pretend to be his best friends girl so that no other guy would try to hit on me. Okay, so I played along and was now the girlfriend of his best friend. I did not tell him to flirt with other ladies right in front of me, or to dance with them. So I’m feeling petty, mad, and his friend is buying me drink after drink. I’m upset that I can’t be on my boyfriend so I start milking it with the friend, my ‘boyfriend’ of the night. I hold on his waist, I sit on his lap, to other couples that we talk to ‘we’re going to try for a child this year’, like we’re playing the part to a T, he’s feeling on me, were dancing naughty on the floor. I’ve never danced with anyone like that and I had a really good time with him because he looked after me so well. He didn’t even let me go to the bathroom alone, he’d wait by the door. He was so sweet. But I was so upset at my boyfriend for not even like trying to come say hi, check on me or anything. He was too busy with other ladies. By the end of the night, I was pretty toasty. I don’t even remember going to the last bar, but I remember being there again on his friends lap. He’d just hold me and talk to me while my boyfriend was again, talking to another girl. I told my ‘boyfriend of the night’ how upset it made me, and how I didn’t want to put up with it. Maybe I said a little much.. and I kind of regret it. I didn’t and wouldn’t kiss the friend, I would not sleep with the friend. But my boyfriend said ‘i’m not upset, but if I was not there i’m sure things would have escalated between the two of you’. Which I kind of took offense to because I was doing what he told me to! I’ve only been with two guys and him! Three total, I don’t sleep around! and he has the nerve to say that. I don’t know. I’m upset, but I also feel like a hypocrite. Maybe I milked it too hard by dancing with the friend, by holding his thigh while we sat together. UGH I get flustered just thinking about it! But he made me feel safe and like I could do those things without anything more happening! He was kind and didn’t push any limits. There was no risk between us. But I did have a good time. I am debating on whether or not to message the friend (get this, the friend and I are connected on social media but my own bf won’t unblock me because he can’t risk people knowing about us because hes married..) ANYWAY I was debating on whether or not to message the friend and just thank him for the night. and also apologize for.. getting a little sloppy and handsy.. I hold my face in embarrassment just thinking about it.
I asked my bf after that night if he was upset with me, and he say’s ‘Nah I really don’t care, just s*** me off’. . .
I’m so … stupid.

So after writing this, I messaged the friend. I apologized for getting handsy and thanked him for the fun night. He said he had a GREAT time with me and that I should be brought out to dance more. (I never get taken out to dance.) The realization of all of this is making me cry lol.. I’m feeling even more conflicted than I was ten minutes ago. . . Well time to go back to work in the office now.