im 21 F and a s** worker (n*** model/c******) and i hate it . I have a disability that caused me to lose my job that i was successful in and i fell into what was my childhood depression again , during my unemployment i made lewd content of cosplays and lingerie never doing full n*** scenes. i brought in £1k from my first month of doing this and it was fun to start with as i was never really comfortable in my own skin but seeing how much people “loved” me it made me feel better about my self. this was simply just so i could pay rent , eat and fix my car.

i then managed to secure a part time job + going back to college with those funds , my colleagues do not care about what i do online and actually help me find cute outfits , super supportive etc .

i started delving into full n*** s** work and then thats all i started doing online. ive had my content leaked in the past few months twice , when people find out they are either super supportive or hate me not knowing what or why i started it . ive had people who work next to our building (i work in a service station with two other stores inside) calling me degrading names and trying to convince my manager to fire me but he wont since he supports what i do and doesnt mind it at all.

but most of all i feel disgusting . i know ive done this to my self but i cant help feeling vile and gross , my stalkers pays for my premium tiers so i know that they have seen EVERYTHING , i didnt even know he subscribed until a few days ago . i hate how people insult my boyfriend when he doesnt even care and helps me in my financial side of the work i do . if i could go back and change it i would , i feel disgusting and gross all the time , i feel like all the work i put in during therapy to stop sexualising my self i comepletely ruined