Venting! I change my appointments and make arrangements so that my boyfriend and I can stay at MY beach condo this weekend. It’s only two nights so I picture it’ll be us relaxing, surfing at the beach and hanging out with our dog. Together! Today(morning1) I find out he wants to hurry up and tire out our dog in the morning so that he can hang out with his friends during the day. So we go to the flats and stay for.. like ten minutes. He’s bored, ready to go back to the condo, and I ask if we can stop for a sandwich on the way from this coffee shop I like. 🙁 He decides he wants gas station food.. so I just have coffee.
We get back to the condo around noon and his friends are already on the way to the condo. Turns out he called and invited his friends from different cities (nearby), to stay at my condo for the night. Well now we won’t have any alone time and I really don’t want to put my swimsuit on with his friends here, so the idea of swimming is now out for me. Why didn’t he tell me he wanted to invite them? Because he knows I don’t want to hang out with his friends. Why did he prioritize his friends over me? I don’t know.. so I’ve been stuck here waiting for him to come back because he took my 4-runner when he could have just taken one of his friend’s rides. 🙁 They ‘went to the store’ 3 hours ago.
And even when they come back it’s not like the friends are gonna leave – they are going to sleep here, in MY territory. How am I supposed to walk around n*** now? He always prioritizes his friends or family over me. 😞
Like I think we’re gonna have a nice vacation, ALONE, but he always, ruins it. ‘Oh but they’re his friends! He just wants to see them! And I’m the abnormal one because I don’t like having my friends around.’ I don’t understand that mindset and I will always blow off a friend for my life partner. I’m dedicated to one and only one. He will not do that for me and I’ve seriously considered leaving him over this. I hate making him my number one priority while he makes me his last. Ugh.. some beach trip this turned out to be.
HMPH AND he fucked up our trip to Japan too and we haven’t even left yet. I bought us two tickets to Japan for his birthday, rented a private onsen, planned to let him bust as many nuts in me as he wants to(no one ever has, so this is a big deal!), and then I find out, he’s inviting anyone and everyone to join in. He gets his annoying friend to buy the seat RIGHT NEXT TO US on the f****** plane. To and from!! He’ll be sticking with us, staying in our hotel rooms, and rental car for the entire duration of the trip.
…..I don’t even want to go anymore. He loves his friends so much he can just go with his friends and nut in them. Now I know I’ll still miserably go BUT NOW I’m gonna get so drunk and run away with strangers when I get there. I mean he has decided to bring his boyfriend so maybe I’ll just find another one or pay to have a better boyfriend for my trip! He can bust in me in his place! >:( … okay he can’t, BUT I’M MAD. Why can’t he just love me and want to spend time with just me. How am I supposed to stay in love with him when he keeps putting obstacles between us? Why does he always want to include his friends? Because they’re poor? He comes from a poor background and I suspect that he likes being the center of attention, boasting to his friends. He’ll deny it, but why else? Every other dude obsesses over me and begs for a chance or a date while my goofy a** man is just dancing all over my last nerves.. Whyyyy do I do this.. I realize this can sound extremely nasty but I wish for my man to obsess over me, focus on me, care for me, spoil me, not his dumbass friends and family. God I won’t even get into his family.. he gives them thousands of my dollars every month but doesn’t say anything because ‘I’ll get mad’. B**** I’m trying to build this money for US, our future, maybe a child?? Not for the entire f****** world!!! And if I say anything, I’m ‘spoiled’ or ‘inconsiderate’ and he turns it into a big argument saying I have no heart… I work f****** hard. Where’s the space in your heart or consideration for me and my efforts..
We’ve been together for 15 years.. he got me fresh out of hs. He’s all I know and my parents love him. I feel stuck and like I have to play my part. It’s not classy to ‘remarry’ ..even though he never even married me.. 😞 He’s making me feel like a failure. I wish he made me feel like a woman, not like his captive money mommy. And to make it so much worse, I’m so s***! I know what I’m capable of and this isn’t fair.
