I’ve suffered with mental illness all my life. But not exactly in the way you’d expect, I was the kid everyone thought was special needs. I was the kid

3 years

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I’ve suffered with mental illness all my life. But not exactly in the way you’d expect, I was the kid everyone thought was special needs. I was the kid who would sit at the “special” table with all the kids who needed some extra help in elementary school. I was the kid who would be pulled aside from class to spend time with a counselor. And until I started masking that’s just how everyone saw me, an autistic special needs retard. But I’m not retarded, I’m just not like all the other people. Just because I don’t know what to say sometimes doesn’t mean I’m stupid. Just because it took me a little longer to learn how to read certain words doesn’t mean I’m retarded. People will never understand, they think it’s funny to call me sped and all other kinds of things. That’s something I can’t understand why they choose to hurt me so much over something I can’t control. It’s harder because I’m not even officially diagnosed with anything because somehow my parents believe I’m fine and if I say I think I have autism they say “okay there’s nothing wrong with that” but won’t let me get diagnosed or get medication. It’s hard learning, it’s hard being different from people, it’s hard never being able to be myself. I hope one day I’ll find a place or find people who won’t judge me for who I am and they won’t have a problem with me being disabled in some ways. I hope that will happen and I don’t wanna give up now

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