I have been struggling with eating disorder. My body has gained all the weight back to the where I was at start. But now I want to go back to my old ways and restrict every meal, purge and be skinny like I was at 49kg. As writing this I want to kill myself bcs it is so hard to lose the weight and be the perfect image of myself. I just want to lose of those 10kgs to be pretty and feel pretty once for myself.