My name is micheal. I am a 11 year old trans man. My parents don't let me do anything. I can't text, go on social media, go outside, have a say in

3 years

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My name is micheal. I am a 11 year old trans man. My parents don’t let me do anything. I can’t text, go on social media, go outside, have a say in anything I do, or have my own identity. I can barely even talk, and I can only communicate at school. I live in a filthy environment thats disgusting beyond explanation, and I can’t even have friends over. I’m forced to eat things that are extremely unhealthy even though we have money to afford good things. I sound like I’m overreacting but I’m not, if you were here you could see. I can’t vent to my parents because they don’t understand and judge me. I can barely hold relationships with my friends or people I love, my entire childhood is wasted. I spend all day sleeping because I’m always exhausted. I binge eat as a coping mechanism, regretting everything after. I spend all day online or asleep because I have no other coping mechanisms. My parents watch everything I do and always search my room and devices. If my parents found my sketchbooks I would be dead or disowned. I constantly am stressed or lazy and if I know something is not going to be perfect I won’t do it. Ive given up entirely. There isn’t really a point in living anymore when your whole life is waisted struggling and being somebody you’ll hate. I’ll never have cute little middle school relationships. I’ll never have girls chasing me trying to kiss me in kindergarten, I’ll never have a boyfriend, I’ll never have friends, and I’ll never f****** be pretty. I’m gross, lazy, ugly, fat, annoying, and damaged beyond repair. Idk what to do anymore honestly. Idk if I’ll end up killing myself or not. Why am I even posting this? Most of y’all are gonna probably cringe at this anyways. I’ll never be attractive or appealing enough for somebody to care about me the way I do to them, I’ll never have a big friend group. I’m covered in acne, scars, whiteheads, and stretch marks. I’ll never be skinny or able to lose weight. I for some reason wish I could lose all the weight on my body and be able to she just to make people care or worry. The people I love all think of me as a second choice. What do I do? Where do I even go? I can’t even vent to people who care. F***, am I just extremely edgy? Is this normal? Don’t tell me to turn to god or anything to fix my problems because he f****** hates me. He wasn’t there when I was desperately trying to get attention. He wasn’t their to defend me all the times I was right. He wasn’t there for me when I was slicing my thighs open in the school bathroom. He will never be there for me. I’m trapped. Idk why I’m even trying to get help from strangers on the internet? All I want is attention, to be pretty, or maybe just a better new life. I have barely any healthy coping mechanisms and they barely work. Listening to music is one but it just makes me cry. I fanticise for hours about living a normal life or being pretty or dating somebody or- you know, better things? Things can only get worse from here. Who the f*** lets their son grow up in this state? Tumbling into my teenage years with the mindset of a infant. I’m honestly fucked. It doesn’t get better, maybe this is the rapture and we’ve been left behind? Maybe I’m just dreaming, god I wish. I have a disorder that causes me to rip my hair out when I’m stressed and I can’t even cut my hair the way I want it because I have huge f****** gross bald spots and I can’t even pull my hair back. Everything is too much. I can’t do this s*** anymore. Somebody, please , idk how but magically fix me? Idk. Please. I guess I’m just trapped. I wish I could rip my skin off and pull the fat from my body just to make myself clean. I wish I take out all my repressed anger. I wish I could be sicker. I wish I could break somebody’s bones. I wish I could have authority and control over someone like the way my parents did to me. I wish I could tear myself apart just to become something better. I wish I could be free. I wish I was new. There’s so much more I could say. But I might not make it till then. I’m so sorry. I don’t know. Idk if I’m even trying my best. Please help

New Confession

I’m not racist, but I don’t like n******.

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I’m a female, nineteen years old, nothing special about me tbh although I seem to be a lot interesting to guys twice my age. I’m not that attractive but I was almost raped by my cousin when I was eight. I’m an only child and that’s my misery, everyone thinks I’m spoiled while I’m broke. I was raised by my mother, being a burden and a debt to her but I was unaware that after I grow up, I’ll have to repay everything. My mother sold her body in order to earn money, about which I always knew because there were a lot of men and women who visited the house we lived in, I decided to stay silent about it and nobody knew where my father is, my mother said he’s a bad guy. I turned fifteen and my mother introduced me to a man in his thirties, who has a wife and a child already. I was against it, but she said that he won’t be having s*x with me, he’ll just touch and groom me until I get into adulthood but nightmare came soon. She fell into poverty and made me have s** with him, that night is hunting and painful, I can still feel the pain in my private part when I remember it, I bled a lot, my innocence was took away from me at sixteen. After that, my mother showed me to two more men, introduced me to them, made me sleep with them for money, saying that it’s all for my future. F*ck you mother.