My life has reached a harrowing standstill. I’ve found myself in an even middle ground of advancement and repentance, and still not accepting that the

3 years

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My life has reached a harrowing standstill. I’ve found myself in an even middle ground of advancement and repentance, and still not accepting that the past is the past and I must move on. I’ve engrossed myself in a rabbit hole of a musical production, one that I know I have no time for, but I just keep digging deeper. It’s getting worse and I don’t know what to do. Trying to live up to the expectations of friends who think so highly of me and also not letting down a teacher I love so dearly I just can’t. But 3 months with no socialization with any of my other friends can’t be healthy, I don’t know. I don’t feel good at it but people say I’m doing good. How is a man supposed to love a girl but hate her at the same time? My definition of love has been skewed, numbed, rewritten and repressed so many times through all of the abuse, and neglect I just don’t know anymore. I love her because she’s beautiful and fun but she criticizes me so much and I can’t take all of my flaws being just.. I can’t do this anymore. I’m so confused in my day. Im in a ditch and I can’t get out. No matter how many fresheners I put in this godforsaken room it always reeks of death. I live in a world that works against me. Give me my freedom or give me my death why don’t you. I’m tired of all of this.

If the one person who I’m talking about reads this, hi buddy. I’m so sorry I can’t live with myself anymore. I don’t understand my own thoughts and emotions. I am lost.

Posting this is a risk, but at this point I have nothing to lose. F***

New Confession

I’m sorry, but you trannies aren’t women. You just aren’t. You’re like walking Monty Python sketches.

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I’m a female, nineteen years old, nothing special about me tbh although I seem to be a lot interesting to guys twice my age. I’m not that attractive but I was almost raped by my cousin when I was eight. I’m an only child and that’s my misery, everyone thinks I’m spoiled while I’m broke. I was raised by my mother, being a burden and a debt to her but I was unaware that after I grow up, I’ll have to repay everything. My mother sold her body in order to earn money, about which I always knew because there were a lot of men and women who visited the house we lived in, I decided to stay silent about it and nobody knew where my father is, my mother said he’s a bad guy. I turned fifteen and my mother introduced me to a man in his thirties, who has a wife and a child already. I was against it, but she said that he won’t be having s*x with me, he’ll just touch and groom me until I get into adulthood but nightmare came soon. She fell into poverty and made me have s** with him, that night is hunting and painful, I can still feel the pain in my private part when I remember it, I bled a lot, my innocence was took away from me at sixteen. After that, my mother showed me to two more men, introduced me to them, made me sleep with them for money, saying that it’s all for my future. F*ck you mother.