Whenever I look in the mirror I see 15 heavyweight men staring back at me. Not only do they stare, but they wait until the time is right. What are they waiting for you ask? For me to turn my back on them. I don’t know what they’ll do when I turn my back so I’ve been staring into the mirror for as long as I can remember. I’ve tried tricking them with a made to order cardboard cut-out of myself but they knew it wasn’t me, what can one do?