I’m suicidal. I literally cry and shake constantly. Honestly, if I thought Heaven and Hell didn’t exist, I would overdose and cut myself to death. Unfortunately, I do believe/think that there is an afterlife punishment for bad people and that it is Hell. I think if I killed myself, I would go there, so that’s about the only thing holding me back. I used to cut six months ago. I told my mom and she hid all of the blades. Or so she thought. Once, when she wasn’t home, I cut my hip. It was painful, but I needed it. After that, I didn’t cut anymore. I still haven’t. A week and a half ago, I took apart a pencil sharpener and attempted to cut myself with that blade. It wasn’t sharp enough. :/ I had an opportunity to get a whole case of blades from my aunt’s house a week ago, but I forgot to grab them before I went home. I should’ve at least cut myself while I was there. I must- I have to- cut again. I need to.
