Ok I don’t know where to start to be honest with you. For all of the people the read the ones about having a relationship with my band teacher that retired last year and he is 58 right now you would know what I am talking about. Today I hear one of my band teachers made a batch of cookies for him. the teacher is a girl and she has been teaching my band room since way before I was in high school. And now there is this girl in my grade named Susan I absolutely hate/despise her. She said that every time he looked at her in concerts and stuff that he would look away and start crying. That made me so pissed off but of course nobody would know that because I am trying to keep this relationship a secret. She act’s like she knows him better than anyone and that she has this special relationship with him. I can’t help but feel hurt and upset about this and maybe jealous and obsessives in a way. 🙁 I know this sounds bad but I just cant help it! I can never stay mad at him but right now he has been ignoring my Email for a week now ever sense he came back from California. I wish I could do/say/experience all of these things that people had or did for him. I want to make him cookies, I want to make him cry every time he sees me because he loves/cares for me, I want to do things with him and say but how? Overprotective foster parents is why. I can’t do ANYTHING! I just want to never feel this way for anyone anymore and be done loving people at this point. This is the first time I actually loved someone like this before. It hurts and I don’t want to love anymore. I want to be done with life now.