you started it. glad you felt the need at least to end it on your own. well with my help. i could do it myself, but you came to me over and over for help.

4 years

181 Views

you started it. glad you felt the need at least to end it on your own. well with my help. i could do it myself, but you came to me over and over for help. made the situation deeper than it was. all the sudden i was responsible for almost stranger’s happiness. thank god my “b****” loves you, a b**** i didnt want, i let go, gave you the tools to do the same. but you thought i wanted your little gilded s***. no thanks. happily married now. you always were so jealous. its really no wonder when you started to become obsessed. eating sloppy seconds for five years must’ve started to taste really bitter after a while.. poor thing. its like you wished you were with me, or were me, but you wouldnt have wanted the baggage that comes along with that. so instead you chose the next best thing. still gross, but i can understand. I think you thought if you could prove someone who wanted me could also want you.. they just never thought they could have you.. yeah that’s probably right. “But if they knew.. oh they’d see just how much better i am than you.” i can see how “appreciative” these suitors have been for you, lining up to leave the door is full. you are painless in your work, which leaves it all up to the audience, so sit and watch as your mind struggles to come to terms with your endless banal energy. art that lacks conscience. writing that lacks flesh and substance. god i feel sorry for those who wish to be a wonderful, unique, version of yourself, only to find no matter how hard they try, how much they study that ideal, or how many opportunities they have.. they lack something in the heart that could ever let that be true. I always wanted to think that anyone was capable of becoming whatever they wanted but once meeting you, i have wondered ever since. happy lenses dont make it that way outside them, but it can convince the person behind them, they just never realize how stupid they sound to everyone else living this reality. But they are probably just negative cynics who deserve it lol. you waited until you could finally pin something on me, and pretended i started a war with you. ober letters. you knew it was possible to offend others with your words, but wanted to justify it by hating me, and looking for any good nuff reason to say i was worth hating. Im sure you have enough by now, but i know the real reason you hate me, is because i know the truth. everytime you look at my face and get that rush of feelings i know its because you can see in my eyes, I will always know the truth. do you hate the idea that there will always be someone out there who knows exactly how fair that fight was. you were never going to make me do and say what you wanted when you wanted, and that burned you didn’t it? couldnt accept that people have their own way of handling things. you think it shows who i really am because i never told you what you wanted to hear.. well no bother, theres a few people who see us for what we really are, i have faith in them to see me, and you can trust that i will always, see you for what you really are.

New Confession

I came from a toxic family and my in laws were more like family than i imagined was possible. The weirdest part was how they knew my wife, their own daughter, was the outlier in their family, cold and manipulative. She married me to get away from them. I eventually learned our marriage was a lie. My FIL and MIL treated me and their two grandchildren with warmth love and respect. And they are the ones that taught me what family will do for the family. I loved the time with them when the kids and i would stay with them while my wife would go out shopping all day or go on work related trips. They were both very mentally and emotionally supportive recognizing what i went through to make sure the kids had a safe happy life despite their mother’s indifference, that they felt loved by me and their grandparents. My MIL and FIL would sit and talk for hours and we would all take turns watching and playing with the kids while the other two talked. One day my MIL pushed the conversation farther than usual and we ended up having a conversation that left me with silent tears when she told me she knew that her daughter was completely uninterested in being a wife or mother and that she as my MIL and my FIL worried that i would eventually seek affection elsewhere or simply leave and that would result in the kids being in a broken home. And that the two of them would never let that happen and that they had a solution if i was willing and devoted enough to hear them out. She called my FIL back in and suggested she watch the kids and we go for a drive. As he drove my FIL was quiet for a few miles then sort of blurted out that he hoped i knew how much he and his wife loved me and respected me as if i were their own. He ended up almost apologetic as he told me that he and my MIL had considered talking to me long before the wedding and warning me about their own daughter’s true nature. Then he told me that he wanted me to stop thinking that my wife would ever change, that they were pretty sure that i had deluded myself that maybe marriage or motherhood would make a difference but that it was never going to change her. I felt so awkward and defeated breaking down in front of him but he was very supportive and told me that they (he and my MIL) had a plan and wanted to make sure that the kids and i were happy despite their daughter. He asked me to simply trust them as if i was their own and that their devotion was to me and the kids. He even made me promise to listen to and trust them in the coming days, that everything was about the welfare of me and the kids. I guess he read my mind, because he looked at me strangely, then just kept his eyes fixed on the road and a rigid grip on the steering wheel and was angry, saying that he knew what i must be thinking, but that they had accepted that there was nothing anyone could do about their daughter, that they had put rhat behind them as parents and made the choice to save who they could.. I swore I would listen and trust.

Related Confessions

I know the ex wife posts prob get old butbi have no one else to or vent this chaos and toxicity to. Ed wife talk last night, she had expectes reaction to FWB thing ended. After that call i got a string of provocative pics and vids from her. Was a atruggle fir me to disregard and not respond. She came over and when i did not answer door got mad over locks changing and her key not working. Got a bit loud so to not make a scene let her in. She ranted a bit then started crying saying she couls not go back to no s** in her life (not about me just s** in general). Said she knew i knew how that feels and she was not wrong. She calmed down and we talked a bit but she would not give up completely, even a bit haughty said ok the punishment was fine just whatever i felt i had to do so the s** could reaume. Warned her that she may not realize what that meant and allowed her to see the bruises on my cheeks backs of thighs and scrotum. She got a bit wide eyed and asked how i was letting the coach/coordinator do that and control my s** life and by eztension hers as well. I told her it was simple…he makes sure i get enjoyablesex because i cant go back to no s** either. She said she understood that and stood and raised her skirt and pulled her p****** down and bent over the end id the sofa. I managed to be brave enough to ask her if this was about s** with me or wanting him to f*** her again. She asked if that really mattered if everyone wins. I told her it only mattered because if she had any hope of being fucked by him again there would have to be a vudeo and she shrugged I took off my belt and gave her what i had gotten for the most part. It was rough on her but after a while the moans and cries lessened. She ended up turning and kneeling and lifting her breasts up and i realized what she wanted. I had the thought of this is not suppposed to be for her enjoyment but the concept of abusing and marking her breasts with my belt was intriguing. I suppose it does not matter why but bottom line while i belted ber breasts one of her hands went between her legs and she came. She asked if she had taken the punishment he intended. I told her there was one more step. I led her to the bathroom and had her kneel in the shower and she was wide eyed and angry but she took my limp p**** in het hand and aimed me all over her body except her face. I helped rinse her off after. Took her back to hr clothes but she remained bare and asked to see tbe video. It was as if i was not there as she roamed her hands over her marked areas and it had to have been painful the way she mauled her breasts and even climaxed while watching herself sprayed with ny urine. Looked at me and even asked if i wanted to m********* on her. I declined and said i just couldnt at her ezpense. She nodded and as she put her clothes and said she wanted to be honest that she still deaperately wanted him to f*** her again and to please show him the video. I promised i would and would let her know. I told her i understood the preference because when he fucked her i had seen her respond in ways i did not know existed. She sad she was sorry and drew the analogy of me being on my knees for neghborhood men, there was a fulfillment that we did not complete for each other. Made sense to me without being hurtful. She also even quietly admittes that she wanted us to try to resume our FWB acticities because i was able to give her what she needed in a mainstream way and was fearful of losing that with hiw well i knew her core needs and pleasures. Then she teased me and said that she had definite interest in kneeling in the shower again and that she had not expected to enjoy it, that her desire to m********* again was mostly becsase of that and admitted it was not punishment for her. I laughed and said that we would keep that in mind especially since i did not know how whether he would reconsider even with thr punishment nor how he would respond to me even letting her in the door. She said she understood and that even if he waa angry and cut me off then we had something new to enjky and i would make a huge pot of coffee and we would make a day out of it. Multiple random feelings. How he will react. How i will handle being cut off aa well and relying even more heavily on my ex wife for s**. Becsuse that might get even more codependent and tozic and it already is so badly.