My life is screwed up, my friend just left my house, I’m hesitant on wether he had a good time or not. Our relationship reminds me of old movies where a young girl had to be discreet in order not to be called names i can even think of movies about adulteries. It isn’t what i want. I know i am the only one to control my actions, my desires. I don’t love him, but i like even less being alone. I know i won’t have anyone. Why would someone love me if i can’t even love myself.
I met a girl , a friend, people think i like her, i actually do but in my own way. I feel i can connect with her, i feel it would be possible for her to be like my big sister. I want to get to know her.
My life is a mess. I hate myself, really a lot.
