i am a 23 year old girl and highly depressive and suicidal for over 10 years. i first tried to kill myself when i was 12. i had a therapy a few years ago and never tried suicide since then. my family thinks i am kind of cured now, but actually i just accepted life the same way that sick people accept death at a certain point. in fact, i am jealous of people dying and sometimes i still cut myself slight enough not to be noticed, but deep enough to feel pain, because it’s a relief. i don’t let people close enough to have a good enough friend to talk about it and i don’t want to alert my family by talking to them. i really hope i die before i get back to the point trying to do it on my own.