I hate that this is what I have left to talk to. I’m getting panic attacks more and more lately. I’m so tired. I’m sick of being alive. The only help I can imagine getting is unavailable due to circumstance. I want to talk to my friends but I feel like I’ll drive them away. I don’t feel loved. I don’t feel normal. I’m constantly terrified I’m gonna be all alone one day. I’m the only one who initiates plans with practically everyone I know. While I don’t have to coerce people into spending time with me, no one ever suggests it. I’m so tired of feeling lonely. I’m so tired of feeling like a problem. I want to die, but I can’t even do that. I hate being alive.
