I’m so afraid that all my will abandon me. I know they will eventually, none of my friendships ever last. But it’s still sad too know that we’ll stop

4 years

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I’m so afraid that all my will abandon me.
I know they will eventually, none of my friendships ever last.
But it’s still sad too know that we’ll stop talking to each other eventually.
I really care about them, I sacrifice everything for them.
I hope they know how much I care for them, I spend every night thinking of them and how their doing.
I hope they care for me too.

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Nobody cares about me and I wish no one had ever lied and said they did. It hurts so much some days that I can barely breathe. I don’t know how to break away from being dependent and learn how to show up for myself when everyone else has always failed to. I don’t know how anyone does anything. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make it in this world alone and I hate myself for it. I am a leech and a burden.