i’m h*rny and I’m a 22 yo virgin, but the thing is that I didn’t need to be a virgin!!!!
I have people interested in me (and me in them ofc) but I’m so dumb and anxious!!! I think too much and this is my VERY MESSY rant, welcome.
One of the people interested in me is this guy that I met months ago on a party and was CRUSHING HARD on him but we never spoke again. Then this weekend we finally saw each other on another party and spent the whole night together (and by that I mean only kissing and dancing, it was great btw 10/10 great moves and kisses, my guy).
I was thinking of seeing him more in the future and s*** but during our texts he told me about an open relationship he once had and made some comments that I know it was a way to let me know about his preferences and also to see what I think about this topic. And I guess I’m happy he talked about it so early? I mean, good for him, people should do what they want blablabla but yeah. Not my thing, unfortunately.
I’ve never dated anyone and for me an open relationship should require a higher level of maturity of both sides that I don’t think I have for now since, again, > I’ve never even experienced the “easy mode” of it <. Also sometimes I feel jealous of my dog. Humans are so complex.
Anyways, I know we only saw each other one time and my psychologist said I should stop thinking too much ahead but I drank way too much coffee today and my stomach is now upset. Also, I'm h****. And he's very hot.
Anyways, I know for a fact that is very far from what I'm seeking right now and I don't know if I want a relationship because I feel like such a failure for not having a job in my area at my age that I feel like I shouldn't have anyone until I'm financially ok. So I don't care about me keep seeing him for kisses and giggles but I know there will be a moment we'll like to step it up… BECAUSE, AS I FIRSTLY STATED, I'M H**** AND HE IS HOT.
And the problem is that I don't know if I really want to lose my virginity to someone I'm not properly dating.
It's not because I think it's the "right" thing or for the sake of my purity whatever, I couldn't care less. But since I've never dated I'm afraid to get attached to someone I know doesn't want a relationship.
I can clearly see what the issues I've got going on and I am trying (focus on the word TRYING) to work on each of them, but damn. I don't want to wait too much time to have some fun experiences. And I mean not s***** ones, but being young and "in love". Taking care of someone and stuff, going out with them, holding hands. Hit me with them gay s***, I want all of that including a gf. ANYWAYS, this was a very big rant about how I'm h**** for everyone