I am deeply ashamed of ever having been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I am so embarrassed I wasn’t strong enough to fight the battles in my mind .

I will never admit this , but it broke me , shattered me.

I’m humiliated by the fact I had my womb cut out (hysterectomy ) I never had a child.

I am also ashamed of the fact I was not only horrifically abused . Tortured . I stopped fighting . I just had all the fight beat out of me .

I hate myself for begging for death to take me . I hate myself even more that I can’t seem to stop crying because I came so close to being murdered. But was forced to still live with the abuse. It hasn’t stopped. I just want to end the pain.