4 years
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I end up seeing him more than last year.
I told myself that the infatuation would wear off but it’s been close to 8 months of nonstop obsession over a person I know the bare minimum about.

This is an open letter, I just need to let this out and hope no one I know ever finds it. Before I free write, stay safe Simply confessors.
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Classes resume and I end up in 3 out of 6 with him. I was half hoping half not. Again, I want this to fade really. We’re rtistically inclined in similarly subjects,and I told myself I wasn’t going to date someone untill I met someone who was intrested in the same things as me. Well, shot luck I guess, because not only are we in theater and a music class, but also math. Even worse? I think I’m doing pretty decent, but I think he’s better than me.

Over the few days he saw me singing in the hallway during a class and we made eye contact.

Is it creepy that making eyes with someone makes me so nervous? I’ve never truly talked with you, only 3 times really and mostly in passing. But everytime I catch your eye I get nervous, like the kind of nervous where your stomache gets heavy and you forget what you were supposed to be doing, ie I fucked up what I was playing on the keyboard at the time lol.

But I know he’s probably got someone, because would make s*** 0 sense of he didn’t. He’s good looking, nice, and just out of my league enough that I know deep in my bones that I shouldn’t talk to him. I’ve got my fair share of love and dont want to cause anymore problems than I already have.

Then again, I still freeze like a deer in headlights when I see him. What should I do? I know here isn’t the most conventional place to reply, nor do I think most people would read this far. I’m so f****** nervous someone would find this and know it was me, but that’s the most unlikely outcome.

I am terrible with words, but one day I hope to at least talk once again. Maybe even a piano duet like the one from months ago. Why am I still hung up on that? I don’t know. I’ll let my music express this rather than my tongue.

New Confession

I was a church organist and pianist for Sunday School departments on Sunday morning from the time I was 12 years old ….. Every morning I would come in the back door and go up the flight of stairs to where the Sunday School rooms were out to play the piano for them and one day we had a new quad director his first year in college… He was 17 I liked him okay but I certainly wasn’t in love with him and I had no desire to touch him in any way but after about 2 months he started meeting me at the stairway going up and started rubbing my d*** with the back of his hand making it hard extremely hard and erect well he continued to talk to me I tried to back up and he followed me continuing to rub my d*** so the first time I said oh I have to go to the restroom so I went to the restroom I beat it off and went back up the hallway he was not there discontinued every Sunday for about 6 months after the first time I decided I would force my way past him and he became very angry that I forced to my way past him the next week he wasn’t there and all of a sudden he was there the next week and still persisted on rubbing my d*** with the back of his hand to make it hard while he talked to me normally again I have to go to the restroom and beat it off before I went to the Sunday School the following Sunday I decided I was not going to beat it off anymore because I got too hot so I went to the Sunday school class with my d*** on hard which everyone could see so finally I just did not care anymore whether they saw it or not and then I noticed all of the other boys dicks getting hard and the Sunday school class so when I went back to my own Sunday school class after playing for four other departments I got back in time just to go into my class the teacher was not there it was the voice class that had seven boys in it I made the eighth one as we were sitting in there they began to rub their dicks and then they took their dicks out and all started m*********** after a while of silence and m*********** my d*** was very hard but I did not take it out they won by one began to have o***** and one boy took my hand and put it on his d*** to finish his d*** and I did he had the best o***** of all his legs shot out and he was the loudest when he went into o***** I was afraid the teacher would come in but no teacher ever came in but then they had a huge mess to clean up all of the e********** so I had to go to the restroom and bring back paper to clean them up they all sat there wiping their dicks and cleaning off the e********** that had shot everywhere. Then about 6 months later after having my d*** rubbed two or three times a month I had stopped m*********** it I would just go with the hard d*** I was asked to be organized of the church because they had heard me playing well everything went fine for the first 3 months he stopped rubbing my d*** because I started going into another door then of course he was the car director so he started coming over to where I went into the auditorium and began taking his two fingers and gently edging my d*** as I was preparing to go out I did not want to start an argument I did not want to make a scene of course he knew that and the first time I went out with the hard d*** to the Oregon to play and then the next week I decided I could not go out there with hard d*** but he did not rub it that week the next week he rubbed me just enough to make it rock hard so I went out to the Oregon and I began to play and then after I was finished the choir came in and I was as I was sitting there listening to the pastor talk to the congregation my d*** began to throb and I had o***** right there in front of the entire congregation my head flew back my legs shut up and the organ made sounds but I couldn’t stop it I couldn’t control it and I was in o***** it seemed like forever and my d*** was throbbing so hard and I was 14 then after church the pastor wanted to know what happened I said oh nothing then he said I needed to take care of all of that before I went out to play I said but the boys come into the restroom and harass me I want to see my d*** he said he would take care of that so he put a lock on the door so I could go in and m********* before church that work for a while until I saw a boy that I really wanted to be with he opened the door to his restroom area and wanted me to come in and s*** his d*** I loved him so much I did not want to disappoint him so I went in and held his d*** and just looked at him and slowly manipulated his d*** and he ejaculated everywhere I thought he would then be my friend forever but he was never there again
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