I had to put my dog down last week. I am devastated. She was full of cancer and I didn’t know. How did I not know? Why didn’t I see the signs? Could I have saved her? I am wracked with guilt, I miss her terribly and I cry every day. When my dad died, she was the only reason I got out of bed. She was my comfort & now she’s gone. I hate this empty house, I’m pissed that just when my life was getting back on track, I lost my best girl, I’m not sleeping well & I’m drinking too much just to fall asleep. My own family hasn’t called me once in the last week to check on me. It has made me realize that I also have been selfish with my time & my support of others. Why do we think that grief is contagious? When did I stop being the person I used to be? The one who cared about people, the one who went out of their way for others..she seems to be gone and I am unhappy with that realization.