There´s this girl who accidentally texted me on whatsapp. We had a real nice chat and I realized we had quite a lot in common. Then she send me a pic and I was astonished how beautiful she was… We texted some more and it felt incredibly good… Some texts down the road I realized, that I felt drawn to her and was quite unable to let go. I guess she sensed the tension and drew back all of a sudden. Now she doesn´t text me anymore and I feel like I´ve blown it. Like totally…
I don´t know, I can´t let go of my phone and feel the need to look all the time if she´s online. Then I ask myself, why she doesn´t text me and I feel really sad.
I hate to loose control, I hate the feeling that at some point I might have made a mistake, I hate these virtual conversations that leave so much space for interpretation…. I should f****** turn it off. Life was so much easier in the old days. F***!
I also hate the feeling to be clingy and that I do not seem to have the internale space to back the f*** off and live my life without desperately needing some womans t*** to s*** on… SO humiliating…