During the summers, I work as a security guard (yes, a rent-a-cop) for a local stadium. We get a lot of big-name concerts every summer, and I’m usually put in charge of watching the tour bus during the day, when it’s in the parking lot, then watching the dressing room when the acts are on stage. So I’m always near the celebrities. Of course, the biggest acts bring their own security with them too.

Over the years I’ve witnessed many things, including:

– Almost every celebrity is a real a****** to people around them. Even ones you would think were nice. They belittle people constantly. The nicest ones are the country singers. Some of the rap stars are actually pretty nice too. The pop acts are the worst.

– Only a handful of the singers I saw didn’t smoke. Most of them smoked weed. I caught a few doing other drugs.

– Male band members do exactly what you would expect them to do – fool around with groupies. Even the married ones cheat on their spouses. Once, a certain tour bus arrived on a Friday morning for a two-night set of concerts. From the time they got there in the morning, to the time they left two days later, they had a continual line of girls – some of whom were clearly underage – coming and going from their bus. One of the band members was nice enough to invite me in to “try out one of the girls”, but as soon as I poked my head in the bus, I turned him down. She looked like she was maybe 15, naked, and scared. I don’t think she expected to make it that far with the band.