I’m starting to really despise my autistic brother. I myself am autistic, so is my brother however he is more autistic then I am. He’s incredibly violent and has harmed my mother multiple times. He’s broken things. Threatened us. He some times pretends to lash out at me to see me flinch, And even worse, he practically gets away with it. My parents have told me several times that they allow him to “cool down” before telling him off. But it just feels like either an excuse to not punish him as they know it’s much easier. Or because he takes advantage of this, it makes it feel like this. Either way, recently I’ve begun to despise him, he’s become more aggressive and treats me and others like s***. He takes advantage of the fact I have OCD, my parents reply? “I shouldn’t let him know it affects me.” I remember this one occasion in which I was watching tv but was forced to give my brother the remote, however I know for a fact if I had behaved in the way he did I would of just been told by my parents “I could not just come down and expect to be able to take control over the tv” Even worse my dad is also highly autistic as well, and now my brother has been picking up on things my dad says to my mom when their arguing “Your drunk!” , “I’m running away” etc at this point I’m on the verge of screaming. I can’t deal with the treatment and honestly feel that life would be better without him sometimes. I love him, he’s my brother, but at the same time I despise him and my parents way of coping with him. I wish I could tell them exactly what I’ve just wrote here but know it wouldn’t lead to anything. It makes me feel pissed off when I see people talk about Autistic people now. Th never talk about highly autistic people like myself, I know for a fact if I told somebody I hated it autistic brother I would receive s*** until they saw him. He is Satan. I feel so worn down and unequal, I mean have autism too, I feel the same things he does, but sometimes it feels like my parents realise this. I feel so alone. I don’t know who to speak to and even if I did I feel like I couldn’t do it. Am I the a******?
