whenever i do anything i want to kill myself. i want to just end my life. i’m too scared of the pain. i know it will hurt and i don’t want it to. i just

4 years

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whenever i do anything i want to kill myself. i want to just end my life. i’m too scared of the pain. i know it will hurt and i don’t want it to. i just want to lay in the grass and disappear. i hate everything and everyone including myself.

i hate being a trans guy and i hate not being out to anyone. it’s horrible because i know if i come out i wont even be seen as a man, people won’t physically see me as a man, they will just remember my pronouns. it hurts me so much. i just want to be a boy and nothing i do will make me into a boy or make other people see me as a boy. i f****** hate having female genetalia like b**** and yeah

sorry

New Confession

To be human is to continually change. Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you.

The Puppet Master

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My ex would s******* harrass me every day, if that is the word. Force me to show him my body, show him myself m***********, pleasure him since we were long-distance. Whenever I said no, it would be begging all night until I gave in. So I stopped saying no in fear of him leaving me, embarrassing me, sending the photos out. But now, a year after him, I still imagine what it would be like if we did have s**. I imagine it when I’m alone, about how he’d topple over me, guide me through it with a soft voice as he deflowered me. How his rough hands would grab me and pull me hair like how he would describe to me. How he said he wanted me to be choking to the point I nearly threw up. How he wanted his hand on my stomach as he plowed. I pray every day that I never see him again, but I pray that the sin of my desires is attained first.