I’m waiting for my dad to die so that I can kill myself. I don’t want him to be alone and I fear he would be. I know people have had it worse but I’m

4 years

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I’m waiting for my dad to die so that I can kill myself. I don’t want him to be alone and I fear he would be.

I know people have had it worse but I’m tired. My bio and adopted parents were taken from me one murdered on Thanksgjving and the other died on Christmas. I was separated from my brothers and spent my childhood alone. I was molested and abused. Every friend and relationship I’ve had has betrayed me or abused me. The deepest loves I’ve had have never been returned. I can’t get ahead. I’m tired of being alone.

Now over the last 4 years, the worst people are speaking for the country. And they are always fighting with all the worst people on the other side.

My third and final dad is getting older and I daydream about him peacefully passing. I’m going to end th suffering. I’ve done it enough and am not happy with the results. I’m ready for it to be over.

New Confession

To be human is to continually change. Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you.

The Puppet Master

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My ex would s******* harrass me every day, if that is the word. Force me to show him my body, show him myself m***********, pleasure him since we were long-distance. Whenever I said no, it would be begging all night until I gave in. So I stopped saying no in fear of him leaving me, embarrassing me, sending the photos out. But now, a year after him, I still imagine what it would be like if we did have s**. I imagine it when I’m alone, about how he’d topple over me, guide me through it with a soft voice as he deflowered me. How his rough hands would grab me and pull me hair like how he would describe to me. How he said he wanted me to be choking to the point I nearly threw up. How he wanted his hand on my stomach as he plowed. I pray every day that I never see him again, but I pray that the sin of my desires is attained first.