i slept 4 hours last night because this morning my family needed me so i've been up the whole day doing things for them. still, i caught myself in between

4 years

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i slept 4 hours last night because this morning my family needed me so i’ve been up the whole day doing things for them. still, i caught myself in between thinking of you and i burst into tears at random times because i couldn’t believe how did we ended up torn to pieces like this? i don’t want to blame you. i tried my best and gave my all and still wish you would let this friendship heal but you won’t do anything about it and would rather just let us die. and that leaves a gaping wound in my heart.

New Confession

To be human is to continually change. Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you.

The Puppet Master

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My ex would s******* harrass me every day, if that is the word. Force me to show him my body, show him myself m***********, pleasure him since we were long-distance. Whenever I said no, it would be begging all night until I gave in. So I stopped saying no in fear of him leaving me, embarrassing me, sending the photos out. But now, a year after him, I still imagine what it would be like if we did have s**. I imagine it when I’m alone, about how he’d topple over me, guide me through it with a soft voice as he deflowered me. How his rough hands would grab me and pull me hair like how he would describe to me. How he said he wanted me to be choking to the point I nearly threw up. How he wanted his hand on my stomach as he plowed. I pray every day that I never see him again, but I pray that the sin of my desires is attained first.