I wake up still feeling the after effect of drinking all night to feel something other than the numbness that’s consumed me lately. It’s been years since I’ve felt normal. I guess it started the day that I was attacked in my apartment parking lot by some thugs who needed money. I gave it to them if they would leave me alone and when one attacked me I fell to the ground. As they held me there they were calling me f***** and s***. I wanted to die already and had no energy in fighting back. “Do it.. Kill me.” I said. The guy holding me down released me and said “Yo man, let’s go. This dudes crazy.” And his friend kicked my ribs and I felt pain. It gave me energy and some irritation so I sat up and said “F*** you guys are pathetic.” And they turned around and threatened to shoot me. The pain of the broken rib had pushed me to defend myself but I was sitting on the ground in pain and could hardly move my arms. I felt something strange inside of me kind of open like a wall falling down allowing me to feel what’s on the other side. A connection? To what? The guys got closer about to start beating me and one guy blind sided me and kicked the side of my head. I flung to the ground and I felt the connection even stronger. It’s energy. I can feel it. Every inch of my body felt like it was tingling from the energy around me and I opened my eyes and saw the colors of the energy surrounding the lights, apartments, cars.. I saw all of it. Am I hallucinating? I lift my fingers and feel some of the energy close to me from the car next to me. I touched it and it soared through my body and the pain of the broken rib lessened immediately. I pick my arm up and put my hand into more of it and the lights across the entire block began flickering. The guys stared at it and stopped beating me and I lifted my hand like they do in Star Wars to use the force.. I’m a nerd, I know.. But hey, the s*** worked. I felt the energy flow through my body into my hands and they lifted into the air. The smell of the humid air disappeared and I smelled something sweet. I’ve never smelt it before. Honey maybe? I focused. I slung my hand and the bodies of my attackers followed my movements. I was right. It does as I will it. I reached towards the cars around them and I felt a magnetic force around them. I forced the cars to pull themselves together like I placed a magnet between the attackers. The cars crushed them. I felt nothing except the new energy I could bend with just focusing on it. I walked to my car and I left like nothing ever happened. After a while I got more advanced on focusing on multiple things at once and moving them with the simplest of thoughts. I got good at moving water, making electrical things work with no connection to a plug in. But the more I obtained, the further away from feeling human I got. Emotions, feelings, things that make you feel human kind of vanish. Connecting with people is lost but you gain connecting to the energy around you. And after years of working in it I feel this level of numbness that I can’t shake and it’s began to be painful.