I love a guy who I'll never have. I love a guy who isn't mine. I hate a girl whos dating the guy I love. I hate myself because I won't let go. We never

4 years

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I love a guy who I’ll never have. I love a guy who isn’t mine. I hate a girl whos dating the guy I love. I hate myself because I won’t let go.
We never dated. We never had s**. We never kissed. Hell, we never even held hands.
So can someone tell me why I feel this aching pain every time I see those two together?
All we shared was a camping trip. All we shared was a small array of memories. All we share is fading. And All we shared is eating me alive.
I love him and because I love him I’m trying to not hold on to the hope that one day just maybe he’ll feel the same. I’m trying to let him go so he AND I can be happy.
I just wish I didn’t fall so damn hard.
I wish I didn’t fall so fast.
And most of all, I wish I didn’t even fall at all.

New Confession

Last night I thought I would fill my fantasy with a B B C . My husband is away on a business trip. So? I brought home a waiter from our favorite restaurant. I couldn’t believe how big his sausage was. Yes, I moaned when he slid in my willing playground. Yes, I bucked back like it was my very first time. I knew he was ready. Then he treated me like a high school girl. I couldn’t even believe that he pulled out and squirted his cream pie all over my stomach. Then asked me to s u c k on his sausage. And I’m like seriously after pulling out. Then I yelled get dressed and get the F U C K O U T.

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My whole f****** life is falling apart because of this b**** that I dated and I don’t even know what to do anymore I’m so alone and I have nothing and nobody and I just don’t know if it’s worth it anymore