17 years
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I tried to make it work, i was so supportive when deep down inside i knew he will stay the way he is… i though we both wanted to break up.. but why when it actually happened it was so painful for both of us… seeing him cry and telling me he loves me tore me apart… is it because inn dxb we get so lonely so we hold on into something and try to fix it even if its unfixable or is it because we hold on to sme1 because we really love them. I’m worried about him so much because of his bipolar depression, but is it fair to me to be with sme1 who cant provide at least 50 % of what i’m giving… we tried to break up many times but we always found each other getting back… but by me packing my things and giving him his keys back does that mean its really over this time… the idea of not touching his face in the morning, or making breakfast 2gether, or taking trips 2gether is very difficult now… i hope he can go back to the man i fell inlove with in thailand… i wish things were different… i wish he was different…

New Confession

So, one time I told my mom that I wanna buy a lollipop, I was 17 that time. My step brother then asked if he could come my mom and I agreed. Me and my step brother let’s just call him Daniel. Daniel the both of went out to buy. We bought a few things lollies and he said he wanted a beer, so I bought one for him. But on the way home walking he asked saying “I have a lollipop why would you buy one?” I looked confused. But I just said I like the strawberry flavored more. he then asked if we could go somewhere for awhile, I agreed cuz’ why not, The house is boring anyway. We went to this secluded area it’s dim but not to dark. No person is walking at that time because it’s night a bit late. We sat down on the bench right beside each other. around probably 5 minutes passed, he took my hand and hovered at top of his “DIH’ it was hard, very hard. my hand is not inside yet. He spoke “you make me this hard everyday.” mind you he was 22 at that time. I sat down still, I didn’t move one bit and just let him do what he wants to. then, he puts my hand inside and helped me stroke his “Dih” I stroked it, he started moaning softly minutes passed like that, he spoke after “Can you s*** for me?” I nodded, because what can I do? I sucked his dih and he exploded on my mouth. I thought it was done and he told me to swallow so I did. after that we didn’t tell mom nor dad it’s our little secret. that was 6 months ago, and now we both sometimes do it when we are alone.

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