4 years
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Too many cooks in the kitchen. Not very good cooks in the kitchen.

And that’s alright, but I don’t want to be one but of them and I didn’t it want you to get rid of them. I would never expect anyone to drop anything or anyone in their life as a demand over me. People don’t work like that. Doing that, laying it down, doesn’t change that you want those cooks around and you will most likely go to them regardless at some point. You can’t force someone to do something like that. I just write it off myself and leave it alone. Leave it for dead. Act like a grown up about it. Let people live their lives how they want to, but I want no part of it. That’s the cost. Not sure of the value, I guess it depends on who you ask and what/who/how many totaL value it’s up against, value, regardless, it’s the cost.

I usual make my mind up based on the level of hopelessness, being realistic about the circumstances and if I is a hopeless situation, I write it off, wash my hands, and seriously walk. Not playing a game walk, maturely make my mind up being extremely realistic about it, being real, hard truths, reality, I donwhatever I need to do to forget about it. On the way, which is damn hard. It can be damn hard for a few years but once I have made my mind up, if after a few really hard years of walking away I’m so walking away this joint realistically about everything, especially everything negative…. We are never f****** taking again. It’s never happening again. If it was difficult, and I got out, I see that, taking communications as like going back to a bad addiction. Some things never really quite heal either. Some people look at it like the romantic way. love affair, they love they fight, they hate, they f***, then they break up and one of them has it in their head like a cheesy fairy tale “…maybe someday…. we can get together for coffee… talk…” That’s not always doable. It’s hard to synch that. It’s easy to think that for one, if you did the person wrong, it’s a different story for someone who feels like they were done wrong. Maybe they forgive, learned to live with, and getting together with someone who they feel did them wrong is counterproductive to them moving forward. It was no an experience with good memories.

MAYBE it’s the person you are dating for the year… But also maybe they don’t care who you are dating, they just thought it was a toxic relationship that was soul draining and they don’t want it back.

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I am not a religious type but of any faith i suppose i have the hope that reincarnation is a tbing the most. Because i have been stuck with the most prudish people imaginable, and i am not even talking about kinks necessarily. Sure i have those but they are primarily unfulfilled or not even attempted because i seem to latch onto the most vanilla/prudes imaginable whether a quantity or quality issue. Not claiming i am any god’s gift to s** just that my enthusiasm is limitless for someone else-s pleasure and fulfillment and most days my core needs are completely mainstream. But i am gonna hold off for what i want and need next time around. I get that some of my most extreme ones are not easily fulfilled. I realize that not that many people are going to be good with coming home to me head down a** up with a male dog knoted in my backside. Not everyone is going to be willing to drive me t****** in rhe trunk and drop me off in the woods naked and have to find my way to them in x amount of time. Or similarly drop me naked on the top deck of a parking garage and having to race down the stairwell to meet them for pickup before the exit AND pay the parking bill. Not everyone is down with being laid out naked on the hood of a car or bent over it (or bending me over it. Or even t****** and abandoned in the yard until daylight. But i feel like it is not fair that the only way my easier ones can be fulfilled,,,,golden or being spanked or tickled, or testicle torture….can only be addressed by a for hire d*********. Much as i crave those things that s*** is exoensive AF