4 years
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I take care of all the pets, all the grocery shopping, most of the food prep, most of the housework & laundry… kids & hubby don’t appreciate any of it, for the most part. I feel worthless. I ask for help & they do it once – I shouldn’t have to ask every time. I feel guilty for wanting to stop doing it all for a week. The pets would die. The house would be utter chaos. Yet it’s the only way I see to get their attention & of course it will all be anger that I’ve quit doing it rather than seeing how much I do for them.

I hate my life.

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I am not a religious type but of any faith i suppose i have the hope that reincarnation is a tbing the most. Because i have been stuck with the most prudish people imaginable, and i am not even talking about kinks necessarily. Sure i have those but they are primarily unfulfilled or not even attempted because i seem to latch onto the most vanilla/prudes imaginable whether a quantity or quality issue. Not claiming i am any god’s gift to s** just that my enthusiasm is limitless for someone else-s pleasure and fulfillment and most days my core needs are completely mainstream. But i am gonna hold off for what i want and need next time around. I get that some of my most extreme ones are not easily fulfilled. I realize that not that many people are going to be good with coming home to me head down a** up with a male dog knoted in my backside. Not everyone is going to be willing to drive me t****** in rhe trunk and drop me off in the woods naked and have to find my way to them in x amount of time. Or similarly drop me naked on the top deck of a parking garage and having to race down the stairwell to meet them for pickup before the exit AND pay the parking bill. Not everyone is down with being laid out naked on the hood of a car or bent over it (or bending me over it. Or even t****** and abandoned in the yard until daylight. But i feel like it is not fair that the only way my easier ones can be fulfilled,,,,golden or being spanked or tickled, or testicle torture….can only be addressed by a for hire d*********. Much as i crave those things that s*** is exoensive AF