this is so hard. i know it isn’t easier on you, or maybe it is, you don’t really tell me anymore.
i feel guilty, and helpless, but i don’t know anything. you so seldom talk to me, and even less do you tell me how you are, how you feel, and what your feelings on us are.
it’s been 8 years, and we’ve only regressed. we barely know each other anymore.
and if i bring it up to you, i’m the one who’s creating problems, i’m the one who’s ruining your day. it’s always been that way.
i don’t resent you, at all, i love you. but i despair. i can’t ask about it, about us, and you won’t tell me. you’d rather evade the question, a question i need answered. but even when i ask it, you never have answer.

so i sit here. everything eating away at me. too scared to move on, but too distressed to not gasp for air.

what even is the right thing anymore. do i hurt you to free myself, or do i stay gagged, hoping it’ll get better…

i’m sorry.